This month we meet Mindy, a kind-hearted wife and mother of two from Nebraska. Mindy is a great listener and a new business owner, starting her own accounting business just months ago and already meeting with lots of growth and new clients! In her spare time, Mindy loves to hunt and fish, prefering the use of a crossbow for the former. Hunting and fishing allows her time to reconnect to nature, and she loves to watch and listen to the animals. Perhaps this is why Spring is her favorite season.
What does Self Love mean to Mindy? “Loving yourself for who you are” is the cornerstone of it. “For me, I’ve always been, if somebody else doesn’t love me I’m not loved, but I’m finally coming to see I can be the one that loves me.” In highlighting this former need to find validation in others, Mindy hits on a common stumbling block for many in their journey towards self love, and drives home the point that love that stems from you is just as valid a form of receiving love into your life.
When asked why Self Love is important right now, Mindy highlights the role a lack of self love plays in many poignant societal issues. “I think it solves a lot of issues with depression and self confidence” starts Mindy, finishing “I think human nature would be a lot different if we had self love, I think a lot of the hate going around right now is more self hate.” Mindy does have a point that often how we feel about ourselves is reflected in our behavior towards others, and cultivating a good relationship with yourself can lead to significant improvements in how you relate with the world around you.
Mindy has been on the Self Love journey a long time. We first met Mindy when we partnered for a fitness challenge through our former company, DragonFit. “At first it was really hard,” says Mindy, “I was always watching by the wayside saying ‘oh that sounds good, but not for me’” but the longer she stayed with the group, the more she began to use the tools presented through those transformation challenges. As the brand has evolved, so has Mindy. “Meditation has been huge” Mindy says, citing it as one of the main things that got her through an emotional few weeks. Mindy was with us for Camp Connected in September and found the retreat “really pushed me over the hill. I’ve had moments where I’ll be doing chit chats with my son, I’ll do two meditations a day.” The tools she received at the retreat are helping her mitigate sources of conflict in her family as well. Most notable was a time she ordinarily would have started yelling at her husband, but was able to remain calm and elicited a totally different response from him and successfully de-escalated a situation. “Camp Connected was so powerful” said Mindy, elaborating on how it helped her with her struggle with needing external validation. “ I feel I’d be okay by myself, I’ve grown enough to be okay with myself and love myself enough.”
What is Mindy currently growing through on her journey? “Right now I’m working on my relationship with my husband and staying calm” starts Mindy, as well as “the growing pains of a new business.” Business has grown quickly and Mindy is learning how to balance this new piece of her life on the fly. “I’m glad I have clients, but I’m feeling overwhelmed.” Mindy is, however, using her tools to help, including getting coaching around her new business.“Sometimes I get in and say I don’t know what I am doing, I have to correct my thinking and say ‘yes you do’.” Imposter syndrome is a name for feelings of being inadequate or incompetent, even when you have clearly shown competency in some kind of work, and it is a common feeling, especially for entrepreneurs. “I have a fear of messing up their books” states Mindy, even though she has plenty of experience and clients to back up her skillset. By flipping the script and reminding herself that she is in fact a competent accountant, she can mitigate that fear and continue propelling herself forward.
After a weekend where she mainly rested, Mindy used her tools particularly well to get back on track. “I got out my journal and listened to a motivational track, wrote lots of I AMs [affirmations], and revisited my goals and intentions.” Sometimes all it takes to get to who we are and what we are capable of is a little reminder.